God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Randomize