I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
