He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
