Got a toothbrush?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
