Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
