the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
