I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
