It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
