THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
