Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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