Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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