Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
