walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
