Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
