Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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