Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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