jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
