they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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