Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
