At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
