we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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