Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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