Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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