You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
