I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
