its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She even gives head with a lisp.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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