Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
