That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
