Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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