1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
