is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
