He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
