i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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