your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize