This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
third nipple confirmed
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Dick very happy bro
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
