I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
now i know why i became what i already was.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
