my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
