even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
