perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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