I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Randomize