He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
