I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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