So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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