went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize