We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
