i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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