That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
