your room smells of hookers.
And success
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
sex in a hospital.. check
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
