Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize