And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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