So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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