do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
