why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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