You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
