some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
