I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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