oh god the rape fog is back!
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
