There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
