We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize