Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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