If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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