I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
