Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
worst night to have a conscience
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
