And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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