She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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