i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
