I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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