I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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