Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
